February 13, 2005

For about the price of two cups of coffee a day, granted it’s Boston Starbuck’s prices, we seemed to have solved HBomb’s explosions. Yup, it’s the formula, stupid. When we first made the tough decision to go to formula we decided upon the same formula Hayes had been enjoying in the hospital, Similac Isomil Advanced. Shortly after we arrived home, Hayes started going from mild-mannered newborn to incredible hulk style temper-tantrums for no apparent reason. Or, so we thought.

Turns out it was the formula. Not the brand, which was perfectly fine, it was the powdered form. For some reason it gave him gas — lots of it– and he was very unhappy about it. We bought the powder because it was about 30% cheaper than the premixed stuff so the savings we realized of about $10 for each can seemed pretty great.

But after all his fusing, we decided we had to make a change. Being a relatively scientific thinker — or at least scientific for a graphic designer — I began trying to rule things out. First went his sleeping. He wasn’t sleeping and he didn’t want to either. So, it wasn’t that. Then came the burping. He wouldn’t burp, unless you count butt burps, so it wasn’t that. Finally, it turns out the only thing we could change was the formula. So formula it was. We thought it might just be the copious amount of bubbles that appeared when we shook the formula and the powder, so we tried making large batches in the industrial strength Waring blender we have. It looked better, but Hayes didn’t like it better.

After an impromptu visit to the pediatrician on Friday for what appeared to be an eye infection (it wasn’t) we stopped at Target when I dropped a chunk of change on 1 Qt bottles. Jen opened one up in the car to feed him but he ended up falling back to sleep. We returned home and continued to feed him what I thought was the new formula. It wasn’t. Jen was trying to use up the last of her blender mixed stuff, so after being up with him until 11PM, I switched to the premixed bottles. Hayes fell right to sleep. I thought nothing of it.

It took me about 12 hours for my addled head to come to the realization that Hayes’ good behavior was not, in fact, because he had been replaced with a new baby by alien abductors. Nope. It was because of the premixed formula. That’s what I think, anyway. What other change happened the same day he became a model baby? Nothing as far as I can tell. Jen refuses to say it, as she’s afraid admitting it will jinx it. I told her that he’s not the Red Sox and you can’t jinx a win just by saying something like “they’re going to win this one.” Then again, the Red Sox are no longer the Red Sox… so my jinxing analogies are in need of some updating.

So if you have a colicky baby and are doing the formula thing, I highly recommend you try changing to the premixed stuff to see if it helps. I know it’s more expensive. I mean I’m going to have to give up either my crack cocaine or X habit just to pay for it. Take it from me, there is no expense that should be spared for a happy child and wife.

February 6, 2005

As a new dad, there are few things more important to me than protecting my child from indecent material. So I’m very excited about The New Vigilance of the FCC and the NFL on the Super Bowl. If the HBomb were a bit older when last years escapade (get it, Escapade?) happened I’m not sure how I would explain it to him. I guess I would have to say something like, “Well, Hayes, that’s a breast. Woman have breasts.” Of course, that’s assuming that he had seen the milisecond of breast during the football game or perhaps the 6 hours of replays on the networks, news channels, ESPN and likely children’s programming.

Fortunately for us new and not-so-new parents, we no longer have to deal with such indecency. Nope. All we have to do now is try to explain Erectile Dysfunction. I’ve figured that out, though. I’m just going to say something like, “Well Hayes, sometimes men’s penises don’t work so well, so in order to get them ready to insert into the woman, they need to take these drugs.” If he ask why, I have a good answer for that, too. I’m going to say, “Sometimes men have a problem other times they no longer find their wives attractive or have a mistress and need a little extra help.”

Yup. It’s a good thing about the FCC and NFL protecting us from breasts. If only they could do the same with the boobs.

GO PATS!

January 28, 2005

So… last night I went to CVS to pick up some of Jen’s pain meds and a few things for sweet baby Hayes. On the list: formula, baby wipes, Purel(tm) and colace. Good times. Of course, in classic Eric fashion, I forgot one of them, the Purel, and to compound things, the CVS in my neighborhood doesn’t carry Oxycodon.

As a result, I had to walk over to the other CVS in the Back Bay. (Oh, BTW, as I am writing this, my wife has informed me, “We have tohave another child”) Not too far away, but in my huge Sorrels in 3 feet of snow some of which is half-assedly plowed and with just bringing the little dude home, it wasn’t close either. More fun.

Then last night happened… and this morning… WTF wasn’t Hayes sleeping and WTF was he eating so much? Moreover, was this type of behavior normal? We decided this might be because I bought a formula that wasn’t exactly the same as the one in the hospital. So, this morning, on four hours of sleep and without caffine I trudged over to the CVS 3 blocks away (the close one) to buy the Purel and the correct formula issue.

The first person I see appears to be the manager. She’s in the soap isle.

“Do you carry Purel,” I asked her. “I bet I’m standing right in front of it.”

She walks over and points behind me.

“It’s right there,” says she, kindly. And then, in my defense, “We’ve got lots of soaps.”

“I guess you do, but I’m not sure I’d find it if it were the only thing here. I’ve only had 4 hours of sleep.”

I like to tell strangers about my woes in the hopes of eliciting their sympathy. But then, you know that, you’re reading my blog.

“And speaking of 4 hours of sleep, do you have the key to the formula?”

A weird sentence, I know, but they keep the formula locked up so that it doesn’t get the 5 finger discount. I tell her of my plight and that my son keeps on eating. She tells me that her daughter was the same way, which made me feel better.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I like stories. I also thought I had a punchline, because Jen thought it was funny. Now, well… yah. I wrote it and I ain’t erasing.

Anyway, we were concerned with the massive amount of formula the little guy was enhaling each feeding so first thing this morning we made a nooner appointment with our pediatrician. We got Dr. Judit, instead, a new doctor who was fabulous. We told he of our grand plan: we would embrace the bottle, as there is still no milk from the mommy, and carry on. As one nurse at the hospital told Jen before we left, “If you do breastfeed, he’ll be feeding 24 hours.” Not too far from the truth, I’m sure.

There. I said it. It’s beyond milksour.

This was a HARD choice that we didn’t take lightly. We TRIED so hard. Frankly, we feel like we’ve failed our child in some way. It sucks. And that’s the last time I’ll use that pun. During one of Jen’s crying spells about it last night… actually while Jen and Hayes were crying a duet, I had visions of a headline: “Man Opens Fire on La Leche League with Breast Pump, 4 Injured.” It got that bad.

Jen spoke with some of her friends that seconded our assesment. We’ve done much discussing and it’s the right thing to do for our family. We’ve got good benchmarks for bottlefed normalcy, Jen and her sister were both bottlefed, and both did better on their SATs then George W (1206– 566 verbal, 640 math). Jen’s sister even became a doctor by way of Cornell, Harvard and Michigan, all of which I am told are pretty decent schools. So, what the hell, we didn’t get into parenting thinking that we could do everything right.

4:52. hayes is up every hour. Think he’s getting enough? We do, everytime he puts down 3.5-4.5oz. This is ridiculous. He’s had 21.5oz in the past 15hrs. Doing the math, that’s over 34oz per day. According to the Enfamil site, he should be eating about 24oz per day, though they say all babes are different. That, and still no b-milk. Oh and 2hrs of sleep for dad and counting.

January 27, 2005

Well, Hayes made it home on our Subaru sleigh. I had to park it in a snow bank because we only have reverse commute indoor parking. After lugging all the hospital stuff and… that baby… uh… Hayes, I think that’s his name, up the stairs, we’ve settled in. Hayes is happy.

Feeding is still tough. Hayes has been regularly downing 4oz per, which means that each feeding takes about two hours through our finger and syringe feeding method. Our nurse was flabergasted. She said that she had never, in all her years, seen a baby that young eat that much. After consulting with some other nurses, she told us that he is probably going through his first growth sput early. It was hard enough trying to wait for the milk to come in when Hayes only needed 1.5oz. This, and he, continues to suck.

We really appreciate all the support from you guys and the mommy and daddy blog community as we go through the difficult time awaiting the breast milk. Our lactation consultant, one of two with whom we have spoken, assures us that it will come in, and that the delay is likely because of the Pitocin(tm). Though, we are now on day five and… nothing. We’re giving it until six days until we make a decision — to breast or not to breast, that is the question. We’ve already been through so much with the waiting… we can only take so much more.