Hayes wants to poop. He says: “Poop with elmo! Poop with elmo! Mama, up!”

Mama picks him up and brings him to the bathroom. She removes his diaper and sits him on his elmo toilet seat, positioned to Hayes’ spec, on top of a the real toilet seat.

Hayes wants to read. He says: “Want to read, mama.”

He shrugs off all the usual go-to books. Hayes narrows it down to The New Yorker and a Flor catalogue.

Hayes pees. This is nothing new, Hayes has self-taught himself to pee on command so he can play with the toilet paper when he’s done.

Now he wants to read with dad.

“Read with dada! Mama, read with dada.”

Jen calls me into the bathroom and tells me Hayes wants to read with me. She leaves. Hayes has narrowed down his selection to the Flor catalogue, so he hands me The New Yorker. Nice pick, I haven’t read it yet.

“Dada, read!” Hayes insists.

I read. Hayes reads. Mama chuckles silently outside the door. This goes on for a few more minutes. Hayes is now done with reading and the potty. “All done,” he announces.

Jen returns and lifts him off the toilet. We peer in expecting nothing. Poop! Tons and tons of poop! The kind both of us were glad we didn’t have to change.

Hayes pooped while sitting on his potty!

Yes, a big Saturday in the Sagalyn household.