September 29, 2005

For the three of you keeping tabs on the going-ons here at the Sagalyn apartmenthold, you’ll no doubt remember a while ago when I posted that we were house hunting. If your noggin works a bit better than my own, you may also remember that Boston is the most expensive city in the US to live (scroll down a bit for the article, I’m too damn lazy today to link it… but what do you want? You’ve got a flippin picture!). There was a bit of arguing and whatnot. But the short and skinny of it is it’s EXPENSIVE to buy a house here. Especially if you’re going from renting, like us, to buying.

Want proof? That beautiful house pictured at left is in Southborough, MA which is 28 miles from Boston and a roughly 45 minute driving commute. It’s listed by the agent as “Rare Opportunity! Lovely lot in quiet neighborhood” and “in need of major rehab. Priced to sell” It’s walking distance to the commuter rail (45 minute ride into Boston, not much different than driving) and from the looks of it on google maps, the agent is right, it’s almost on top of the train tracks.

The price of all this convenience? And the wonderful Beverly Hillbillies’ first home’s price? $299,000! “Priced to sell!” Indeed!

“In need of major rehab” is the opperative phrase here. It’s the understatement of the decade up there with Pets.com’s earning forecasts and Michael Brown’s instence that he did nothing wrong in handling FEMA’s response to Katrina.

Dont’ believe me? Take a look.

Is there something wrong here? This is almost 30 miles from Boston. It’s MUCH closer to Worcester (where 300k actually buys you something you could live in), New England’s third largest city, than Boston and the house is a complete and utter shithole. It looks like it fell off the backlot of some bad Hollywood horror movie. And it’s 300k. 300k! All the while, I’m surprised it hasn’t been condemned.

And while I’m ranting about the state of the real estate market around Boston, does someone mind telling me what “pride in ownership shows” means? It’s the new buzz word in every agent’s vocabulary. Pride of ownership shows in the newer contemporary colonial cape.

Oh yah? It must have been the pride of ownership that hasn’t updated the house since 1960. Or the pride of ownersip that decided to add that jacuzzi in that huge screened in porch with the dining room table in it that is only accessible from the bathroom off the master bedroom. Or was it the pride of ownership that drove the owners to cover their whole 1/4 acre flat lot with stones?

Oh, real estate market it’s on. It’s so on. You’re goin’ down, beeotch!

September 28, 2005

While flipping through the channels (the 10 that I tend to watch, anyway) I flipped through Boobah, a PBS show for toddlers. For some reason Hayes was watching the channels as they changed and was immediately attracted to the show. He made it clear through his well developed crying reflex that he wouldn’t be satisfied (read: stop bawling) until the channel was returned to Boobah.

So we watched it. He sat there eyes glued to the tv, leaning forward to get closer, completely enthralled. It left me thinking:

The people who made this are on crack.

I mean, that’s the only way I could explain the show. Because, otherwise, how could they come up with this stuff? Weird baby-techno music? Corpulent brightly-colored mouthless dancing creatures? Over-the-top voice overs for the kids that magnify little sounds about 10000 times? Yup, it’s got it all.

So, what drugs are these people taking?

In a million years I couldn’t have thought of this show. Even after seeing the TeleTubbies, which are similarly bizarre, I wouldn’t have come up with this. Further, how the hell did someone figure out that kids would love this weirdness?

Can you imagine how the meeting went that came up with this show?

Bob: So, I’m thinking kids would like a show that makes no sense.

Sally: Wondeful! Great idea! Where do you come up with these things?

Bob: Dunno, must be all the drugs. Also, while we’re at it, I want there to be randomly flying boxes and balls.

Sally: Can’t have a kids show without randomly flying boxes and balls.

Bob: And techno music. But not like that crazy German stuff. Something more like… uh… remedial. You know, something that would get the kids hooked to techno.

Sally: Fantastic. The BPT (Board for The Preservation on Techno) will love it! Who has the crack pipe?

Bill (mumbling, crumpled in the corner): Err fers ska.

Sally: Fantastic.

Bob: Oh and before I can forget, cuz you know, I’m lit, we need fat multi-colored humanoids. No kids show can go without them. Yes, and they must dance in a way that makes their fat jiggle.

Sally (lighting the crack pipe); Who do I need to screw to get more crack?

Audience laughs, claps.
———————————————

Well, any way, that’s how I imagine it. It’s really the only way it could have happened. Do you think it happened any differently?

September 22, 2005

8 Months today since the blizzard of ‘05. Yup, that’s right, Hayes was born 8 months ago today. Funny thing is, it seems like a TON of time has passed since I posted my 7 month review.

Perhaps that’s because so much has happened in Hayes’ little life. He’s crawling now. That happened about two weeks ago and has put him firmly at number one on the cat’s shitlist. He’s also going from sitting to belly to crawling to sitting in less than a second (ok, overstatement, but, hey, I’m a proud dad). That happened last week.

And now… wait for it…. wait for it…. he’s walking.

Yah, right. Actually he is pulling himself up though. We found out this nifty new trick when Hayes decided it was time to roll over in his Amby bed and scream like the audience who had the misfortune of tuning into The War at Home on Fox last Friday. So we decided to try out the crib.

Worked like a charm.

Yah, right. Actually he thinks of it more as a playpen. It’s and opportunity for him to pull himslef up and play with the door handle. Or scream. Yup, he likes to scream when he thinks we’ve left him in his playpen — I mean crib — too long.

You know, cribs are funny. I guess in the same way beds are funny. They are really just padded ground, the former more ground-like than pad. And for the HBomb, there is a definite disconnect here. He really doesn’t know it’s a place to sleep. Never crossed his mind. It doesn’t bounce like the amby. And it’s about the size of Texas when compared to the Amby’s Delaware-like footprint. He just doesn’t get it.

So, what to do. No idea. None. It’s a new battle. Hayes either needs to stop flipping himself over in his Amby or come to a peaceable existence with his crib. Either way, we’re gonna get him to sleep without screaming.

Yah, right.

September 20, 2005

Did anyone take my advice and see Arrested Development last night? I know Matt over at Confessions of a Dumb White Guy did. If not, don’t worry, no one around here listens to me either.

Personally, I thought it was true to form. If you liked that episode full of double entendres and awkward situtations, you’re sure to love the show. Man, it was great. Anyway, if you did watch it, what did you think?

September 19, 2005

Ok, so not about Hayes, but more of a public sevice announcement: Fox Network’s not-hit-show Arrested Development makes its season premier tonight.

As you likely know, I don’t schill for the networks. Fact is, I only post about this because I’m selfish. I need more people to watch it so it wont get cancelled. It’s by far the funniest show on network TV since I can remember and it would be a shame — a shame! — if the idiots over at Fox axed it. They’ve slated it in a ridiculous time slot right before what looks to be the lamest cooking TV show since NBC brilliantly cast Emril as a chef. I’ve never seen a whiter kitchen in my life. Anyway, it’s yet another hint to me that they’ve got it out for AD.

The way I figure, if I don’t do something about it, I won’t get to watch it anymore. So please, do me a favor and watch my favorite show. Please. If it’s your favorite show, post about it today and try to get more people to watch it. It’s free! Oh, and it’s on at 8:00. Thanks in advance for your viewing.

Sincerely,
The Sagalyn Family