February 21, 2005

Not much to report here. Hayes is still colicky. We’re going to try to get them to switch him to the acid reflux stuff SOON! It’s been a weekend full of virtual-vacuum.mp3 (see last post). Oh, good fun.

February 19, 2005

HBomb’s four weeks old. In these 4 weeks we’ve found one — and only one — solution to make Hayes uhm…. well…. not going to jinx us again. Let’s just say it’s worth a try and it has some history. I guess history is ok to get into, since it can’t really jinx us.

So we took this parenting course. Dunno why, as I’ve come to discover that it’s all well and good to pontificate about a child you don’t even know before he actually arrived as if you can find all the secrets to control said child and make him happy. I’m not bitter. Ok… well, maybe a little. Anyhow, they had a list up on the easel about how to comfort a child. One of the things our nurse added, after making a point of saying she didn’t know why and couldn’t figure out why it would work, was turning on a vacuum.

This set me off. I blurted out:

“My first word was vaccum.”

Everyone laughed.

“No. Truthfully. I’m not that clever. My first word actually was ‘vacuum'’

It also happens to be one of the few words I can actually spell.

So, as many of you know, the vacuum can work to soothe your child. Those who know me would be the first to attest that I didn’t learn the word vacuum because I like things clean. I, based on my choice of first words and according to all accounts, was the poster child for this approach. Hayes… well… not going to jinx us. Let’s just say that I decided the best way not to piss off the neighbors with constant vacuuming was to record a mp3. A virtual vacuum, so to speak.

So, for Hayes’ 4 week anniversary with us, I offer my mp3 to those parents who have pondered the ways of the vacuum. Just how long should you keep it on? Is it ruining my vacuum to run it this long? Does this mean I have to clean?

It doesn’t matter. From the response of the only child that I am allowed to experiment on, I have a solution. I present to you: VIRTUAL VACUUM! Click on the link and save the page. Throw it on your iTunes and put it on repeat. Hope it works for you as well as it works for… no… jinx… just kidding.

February 18, 2005

Reading Paul Conrad’s post over at ideashack makes me want to share my thoughts on swaddling. After all, I’ve got all of a week or so extra parenting under my belt. Way to go Paul, you’ve awakened my need to spew unsolicited parenting advice. Now stand back and watch me work.

Hayes hated to be swaddled… so we thought. He’d bust out of even the tightest wrap. Then we tried it with his hands at his sides… which I think is how the dude who wrote Happiest Baby on the Block says to do it. He struggles a bit then nods off. Hayes does, not the dude who wrote the book. Seems to work. But it leads me to wonder: when is someone going to cut to the chase and just make the baby straitjacket already? ‘Cause that’s what we’re doing right?

Actually, maybe I’ve got it all wrong and we should rename the straitjacket “swaddle.” I think that it would lead to making crazy much more socially acceptable.

Nurse: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to commit you.”

Patient: “But… balhalkjaslkdjsalkja!”

Nurse (into her walkie-talkie aka Nextel phone) “Someone get down here with the swaddle, stat!”

Patient: “I feel loved.”

It would work. I promise.

February 17, 2005

We took another trip to the pediatrician yesterday. We’ve decided to play the role of the annoying parents at the doctor’s office. It’s working well for us. This time we went in specifically to try to figure out what was making HBomb cry for many hours out of the day. I tried asking Hayes. He’s not talking.

So Jen called the doctor and she had us in right away. She wanted to check his corneas to see if he had inadvertently scratched them. This, to us, seemed possible since we’ve been using Hayes’ fingernails to cut diamonds in an exclusive agreement we signed with DeBeers a couple of weeks ago. Oh, and she also wanted to rule out other things that cause colic.

So, after spending all of 30 minutes I work, I drove home to pick up Jen and The Boy. We got in immediately and our doctor went about devising a plan. First of all, it was not cornea problems. Second, since he seems to be stretching out and arching his back after eating it looks like he could have acid reflux.

So she changed our formula to the soy based on. We were a bit concerned about soy due to a recent article about how soy effects the developing digestive system. Our doctor was not familiar with the study, so we’re emailing it to her. Go cyberspace go! After a week of soy formula, she is meeting with us again to see if progress has been made. If not, it’s time to start treating a possible case of acid reflux.

We are hopeful there is a solution here.

Our pediatrician is great and we know she’s willing to go the extra mile. She is young, a new mom, knowledgeable and willing to try things to make Hayes better. This is all we can ask for. If you’re in the Boston area and are in need of a pediatrician, drop me a line and I’ll email you her name. Oh, and if you’re our pediatrician, you can make the check payable to Eric Sagalyn c/o Bank of the Caymans. Everyone else, pretend you didn’t just read that.

February 16, 2005

File this under would have been nice to know about a month ago. A Northwestern study released today indicates that there is no increased risk for a c-section if an epidural is started when the mother first feels pain. Yup. Like I said, would have been nice to know a month ago.

February 15, 2005

One of Jen’s friends gave us diaper bag filled with the things she felt were indispensable for new parents. Among them: ear plugs. I thought it was a joke. I am wearing the earplugs now. They are no joke.

Like Modern Day Dad I have tinnitus. This I blame on a certain Rush concert I saw back in high school. Don’t ask me why I saw Rush, that’s not important now. I just did, ok? But during that concert my ears started ringing and the haven’t stopped. Yah and I know that listening to Van Halen *not Van Hagar* at 11 on the stereo didn’t help things.

Anyway, because of my tinnitus I don’t relish putting anything in my ears that blocks sound, as it only magnifies the ringing. On the other hand, if you’ve been reading long enough, you may remember back when Jen was in labor and I proposed that we replace sirens on ambulances with infant wailing. I still mean it. Hayes is loud. Piercingly loud. So, if it’s hear ringing louder or hear Hayes louder, ringing wins.

Hayes’ screaming was so persistent tonight that I have a major headache. And that’s with the earplugs. If I wasn’t wearing them… well… I guess my head would have exploded like so many watermelons at the hands of Gallagher. We need to figure this out somehow.

I think we’ve narrowed it down to not being food. Hayes spit up tonight. And by spit up I mean emptied the entire contents of his stomach on my pants. Didn’t bother him a bit. 15 minutes later? Crying. Loudly.