How I wish I could magically grant you a good nights sleep!!! The first month is an especially hard one, as you are experiencing. Hayes is only a couple of weeks old and the 3 of you are still getting to know each other. But wouldn’t it be much more fun getting to know each other on a full-nights sleep!?!

I went back & read my journal from Jared’s first month, and about learning to distinguish his cries. There was the “hungry cry”, “wet diaper cry”, “change my position cry” and “I’m fighting going to sleep cry” which usually happened around 8pm. It took us a while to figure out the difference between these cries. Give yourselves time, you’ll figure it out.

Also, for a while in the beginning we were starting our day at around 4:30am (in addition to many night wakings of course). Jared was waking up at that time, both because he was hungry, and also I think because that is when dawn was). So I would feed him & then doze with him on the couch until a more reasonable hour (8 or 9 am).

Obviously you guys know we are attachment parenting/ Dr. Sears devotees…which I know is not everyone’s cup-of-tea, but it has been right for us. I think Dr. Sears has a great explanation for this time in the baby’s life, which may help in the especially stressful moments: In the womb baby fits “perfectly into his environment. Perhaps there will never be another home in which he fits so harmoniously – a free-floating environment where the temperature is constant and his nutritional needs are automatically and predictably met. The womb environment is well organized. These babies miss the womb.” The womb seems like a pretty groovy place - no wonder babies miss it!!!

“Birth suddenly disrupts this organization. During the month following birth, baby tries to regain his sense of organization and fit into life outside the womb. Birth and adaptation to postnatal life bring out the temperament of the baby, so for the first time he must do something to have his needs met.”

Also, may I suggest perhaps trying a partially digested formula – something like Nutramigen? Hayes seems like he has a lot of gas, and may have an easier time digesting a formula like Nutramigen where the milk proteins are broken down vs. a regular milk-based formula which can be harder for some babies to tolerate (since babies digestive systems are not fully developed at this stage).

Seriously, my worked-best method was: loading Mylicon and swaddling quite tightly! Either or both worked wonders with my crabby newborns (I’m on my 4th now and haven’t permanently damaged one yet)

Good luck! I can empathize!

-Blue

Just remember to let your wife know she is a champ! Cheer her on and it will pay back dividends!

Best of luck…

Also - please be sure that anyone who cares for your child realizes the danger of shaking an infant (or any child up to 5 years of age). Incessant crying is the most likely trigger for a shaking incident - and no one is immune from those feelings of frustration and anger when you’re dead-tired and can’t get the baby to sleep. Make sure every caregiver has committed to a simple coping plan: when in doubt, put the baby down and walk it out.

The good news is that these days will seem like a blur next year….

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