January 27, 2005

Well, Hayes made it home on our Subaru sleigh. I had to park it in a snow bank because we only have reverse commute indoor parking. After lugging all the hospital stuff and… that baby… uh… Hayes, I think that’s his name, up the stairs, we’ve settled in. Hayes is happy.

Feeding is still tough. Hayes has been regularly downing 4oz per, which means that each feeding takes about two hours through our finger and syringe feeding method. Our nurse was flabergasted. She said that she had never, in all her years, seen a baby that young eat that much. After consulting with some other nurses, she told us that he is probably going through his first growth sput early. It was hard enough trying to wait for the milk to come in when Hayes only needed 1.5oz. This, and he, continues to suck.

We really appreciate all the support from you guys and the mommy and daddy blog community as we go through the difficult time awaiting the breast milk. Our lactation consultant, one of two with whom we have spoken, assures us that it will come in, and that the delay is likely because of the Pitocin(tm). Though, we are now on day five and… nothing. We’re giving it until six days until we make a decision — to breast or not to breast, that is the question. We’ve already been through so much with the waiting… we can only take so much more.

January 26, 2005

The breastfeeding thing is very frustrating for Jen, Hayes, and me (though I feel sorta bad about including me, our pediatrician said I feed him very well and am important, so that’s why I am). It’s not the latching, which is the case most of the time. It’s the milk, or I should say lack there of. Hayes needs a lot of sustanance, and Jen just isn’t providing as much as he wants.

It’s not her fault. The fates have conspired against us. Hayes was bottle fed in the blizzard short staffed NICU and since has wanted — no expected — that much food at feeding. And Jen’s milk hasn’t come in. It sucks, keep the pun. So we’re left dealing with a hungry Hayes unless we find another way to feed him. And we have.

This breastfeeding thing seems to be kinda a societal stigma. ‘You are breast feeding right?” Well, take this from a man who has been through quite a bit in the past 5 days. Sometimes it’s easier said then done. On NPR the other day there was a linquist talking about how different languages have words for experiences that other languages don’t. He said the Japanese have a word that is only used when describing learning English… something about rice… and in some Middle Eastern languages there is no word for “compromise.” Literally.

With that in mind, I would like to suggest a word to describe the intial difficulties of breastfeeding. I’m calling it “milksour.” As in, “Both Hayes and Mom are milksour.” I think if you were to talk with other moms having the same problem, they would agree that that sums it up well. Whether they will or not, right now I’m wishing things were a bit less milksour.

No, I’m not talking about Hayes’ diaper, though, if Metrodad’s “If the Foo Shits, Wear it!” post is any indication, that’s in my near future. Nope, it’s snowing… again. 6-8 inches, they’re calling for. Though, if there’s one thing I’ve learned growing up a Masshole, it’s that being a weathman (or woman) in New England is the only job you can constantly be wrong at and still have at the end of the day. That’s just how weather is around here. Just for the record, that means Hayes will be born during the snowiest January in the history of keeping track of such things here in Boston. That’s alot of snow folks.

Another random, not related thought. The Oscar nominations were announced yesterday and I for one am livid. Jen and I defintely make a bigger deal about the Oscars than most, making a nice dinner, opening a bottle of sparkling wine and staying up way past our bedtimes to see it. We even manged to scam two tickets to a 2k a plate Oscar party dinner a couple of years ago on the Sunset Strip. It was hobnobbing with the B-list actors. Tom Arnold, I’m looking at you. Oh, and an aside. We were fortunate enought to be seated next to Will Estes, a wonderful character actor and star of the NBC program American Dreams. In case you ever thought all Hollywood types were assholes, well, you only need to look at him. He was the honestly one of the nicest people I have ever met. He even made a point of finding us on his way out to say goodbye. A really nice guy. Anyway, how the hell do you overlook Paul Giamati? I mean really… nominate Thomas Haden Church but overlook Paul? Clearly this is a looks game. What does he need to do to get recognized. I’m pissed.

That aside, I’m back at the hospital, things are going much better with a bit of sleep for Jen, me and Hayes. We’ve started feeding him a bit differently and he’s actually sleeping. I make it a point use allcaps sparingly, but SLEEPING! What a difference. What a boy!

January 25, 2005

I had a theory that I shared with Jen about birth. I told her that I didn’t think women remembered their births very well, only the outcome. My reasons were simple: 1) husbands, when prodded, often told a much different story and 2) women wouldn’t go through it again if it was awful as the husbands said. My experience thus far has upheld this theory. Jennifer remembers little of the birth, only the c-section and, of course, hearing we had a boy with blond hair. Obviously my study has no basis in statistics, or quantifiable facts. I just think it’s interesting, that’s all.

Today was kinda tough with Hayes. His hunger is insatiable. Jen, can’t move around much, and feels awful about not being be able to help much. We’re both hoping her milk comes in SOON. In fact she just told me she thinks it’s coming in. YES! Hopefully this will fill up Hayes more than the current solution. He fed for 1.5 hours straight today.

Jen sent me home tonight to get some sleep. We both agreed it was a good idea. The room really isn’t set up for two people to sleep comfortably. There’s gotta to be a better way to design a convertable chair that you can actually sleep in. There has to be. Anyway, I said that when I got home, I’d post some more pix. I lied. Waaay too tired. Will have to wait until we all get home on Thursday.

Things are going great. Hayes is up walking and talking. He made us some breakfast, a crawfish and creme freche soufle. It was a slightly overcooked. We even went out in the backyard and threw a football around a bit.

Then I woke up from the two hours of sleep I was experiencing. Things had changed. Hayes is still demanding satisfaction when it comes to breast feeding and just about everything else involving him. The experts say to expect 2 bowel movements on day two and three on three. He had three in the first hour of today. Yesterday, 8. Our over-acheiving son!

We’re slated to leave here Thursday morning. Things are going well. Both Jen and Hayes’ cultures for bacteria came back negative, so they both had the IV pick lines withdrawn. This is good for Jen. Even better for Hayes. Until they took out the pick, Hayes was wearing a hockey goalie type flipper to protect his line. As a result, he was getting pretty good at blocking anything that came near him, like, say, boob, with it. Now that it’s gone, it’s much easier to position his hands.

Hayes got the snip today. Which went well. I’ll have to see how to change the dressing on there soon as our poop machine needs a little maitenance.

January 24, 2005

Hayes like breasts. Like father, like son. Get your head out of the gutter. According to my mom, I was a world-champ breast feeder. As a kid. Come on.

Today we’re trying to wane Hayes off his initial bottle feeding. I can see why people are so adamantly opposed to giving a baby the bottle and then moving to the breast. Well, medical reasons have prohibited that in our case. He’s been at a bottle that gives him 2 oz in minutes and with Jen, he get’s well… not much. That’ll change when Jen gets her milk in (I never want to write that phrase again), so until then we’re left battling Hayes’ taste for immediate sucking satisfaction

We’ve spoken to three nurses, a pediatrician and a lactating specialist. All have provided great insight. All have also said he’s a great sucker. I can attest. The lactating specialist had me stick a finger in there and feed him by syringe. They had to pump his stomach to get my finger nail back. That was a joke.

I also had my first official bad dad moment. I left Hayes on Jen’s bed to retrieve a diaper. The pediatrician was here and yelled at me. Oh well. Bad dad.

So right now Hayes has gone from being a sleep champ to a constantly hungry boy. Fortunately, in Hayes’ world, breasts solve all problems.