The breastfeeding thing is very frustrating for Jen, Hayes, and me (though I feel sorta bad about including me, our pediatrician said I feed him very well and am important, so that’s why I am). It’s not the latching, which is the case most of the time. It’s the milk, or I should say lack there of. Hayes needs a lot of sustanance, and Jen just isn’t providing as much as he wants.
It’s not her fault. The fates have conspired against us. Hayes was bottle fed in the blizzard short staffed NICU and since has wanted — no expected — that much food at feeding. And Jen’s milk hasn’t come in. It sucks, keep the pun. So we’re left dealing with a hungry Hayes unless we find another way to feed him. And we have.
This breastfeeding thing seems to be kinda a societal stigma. ‘You are breast feeding right?” Well, take this from a man who has been through quite a bit in the past 5 days. Sometimes it’s easier said then done. On NPR the other day there was a linquist talking about how different languages have words for experiences that other languages don’t. He said the Japanese have a word that is only used when describing learning English… something about rice… and in some Middle Eastern languages there is no word for “compromise.” Literally.
With that in mind, I would like to suggest a word to describe the intial difficulties of breastfeeding. I’m calling it “milksour.” As in, “Both Hayes and Mom are milksour.” I think if you were to talk with other moms having the same problem, they would agree that that sums it up well. Whether they will or not, right now I’m wishing things were a bit less milksour.
Madeleine says:
January 26th, 2005 at 3:32 pm
Love the new word — I had this moment a couple weeks in to BFing when I thought, “Now I finally understand why all the classes went on and on and on and on and on about the benefits of BFing.” At the time it was like, “enough already, I get it, BFing is the untimate miracle.” But it can be rough, really rough. So it is hard to perservere.
I dunno if this will make you feel better any better, but I don’t think the NICU bottles are the reason Hayes is so unhappy. Shuli didn’t have a bottle at that stage, but I had no milk for 5 days, and she was MISERABLE. But it WILL come. In the meantime, do what you need to do . . .
-M
Madeleine says:
January 26th, 2005 at 3:35 pm
P.S. This stuff may get filed in the circular file of your minds with the birth-pain. Or at least for Jen. I actually don’t remember the shift in Shuli’s attitude when my milk came in, except that Dylan tells that story!
gg & Grandpa Gormley says:
January 26th, 2005 at 7:07 pm
Well, at least at 8lbs 11oz to start he’s got a little reserve while things work out. Not going to waste away entirely. gg says: “poor little girl” (Jen), “poor little boy” (Hayes) and “poor dad, being frustrated for both of them”.
Sarcastic Journalist says:
January 26th, 2005 at 10:04 pm
it happens to a lot of people. I’m 6 months in and if I don’t take extra “steps”– I get a total of 3 ounces FOR AN ENTIRE DAY.
As her to ask her doc about Reglan– it can help increase milk supply (i’m on it) or she can try the herb fenugreek. it’ll make her smell like maple syrup and you might want to pour her on your waffles, but it also helps.
It’ll get better. It’s hard in the beginning…but eventually you won’t have to use the word milksour.
kate says:
January 26th, 2005 at 10:34 pm
Wishing you all a visit from the Milk Fairy!
I remember waiting for the milk to come in - From my experience, and from what I’ve read, often milk comes a day or two later with csections…so be patient. It will come, and when it comes, it may come flooding in. Best of luck. (by the way, great great, great resource for breastfeeding is kellymom.com)
Uncle John G and Aunt Rosanne A says:
January 26th, 2005 at 10:35 pm
Congratulations and best wishes and prayers, Jen and Eric, and WELCOME to snow baby Hayes!
Was glad to get the good news yesterday from Dave.
Have enjoyed the posts by Eric, both creative and fun and revealing. A good way to get to know you, Eric. I am glad you and Jen found each other and that together you have founded a new life in the person of Hayes. He looks like a Patriot’s fan already! Much love to you all!!! Uncle John and Aunt Rosanne
The Zero Boss says:
January 27th, 2005 at 12:24 am
Kim has dealt with that on and off through various pregnancies. Our last one in particular, Luka, sucked her dry. We supplemented so he would get the nutrition he needed. I don’t think we experienced much of a social stigma around that - but then again, it was our sixth kid total and our fourth together, so few people were in a position to lecture us about child-rearing. :/
steve says:
January 27th, 2005 at 9:53 am
Chie had some similar issues. Once we brought our Sweetness home, they magnified. We wanted our baby so much to be exclusively breast fed. After the second night, when she cried and cried and had us both nearly in tears, we decide to crack open the bottles of magic elixir that were provided by the hospital. Those bottles of formula saved the day. Chie ultimately said that when you are first starting out, breastfeeding is anything but natural.
More Diapers. One man's quest for modern fatherhood. » Milksour says:
January 28th, 2005 at 9:33 pm
[…] 8221; Not too far from the truth, I’m sure. There. I said it. It’s beyond milksour. This was a HARD choice that we didn’t take lightly. We TRIED so hard. Frankly, we feel l […]